Do Your Words Work for You?

While remembering aspects of my childhood, I cannot overlook a period of eleven years that dominated my time away from school.  I took classical piano lessons.  My first 2 years of lessons were with a teacher that allowed me to run all over the keyboard without the least care about counting.  One might have thought I was in a race to see how fast I could finish my pieces.  At the recommendation of my mother’s co-worker, my mother enrolled me in lessons with a STRICT teacher for the next nine years.

This teacher was the president of a national organization of piano teachers and she had a studio in New York City in the performing arts district for professional musicians who were her students.  Her school-aged students had lessons in her home.

One of the things I remember about her is that during her annual student concerts at prominent performing hall stages in the city, she would go ballistic when a child said, “I am nervous”, backstage.

Up to that point, we students put in at least four months of specialized preparation and practice to memorize our ensemble numbers, with the last four weeks consisting of three or more weekday afternoon and weekend rehearsals.  Many of these rehearsals found us in terror or near tears when we fumbled the keys.  Things intensified the week before the concert with my teacher slamming her hand on the piano while yelling and making us play over and over again in pursuit of excellence.

The evening of the concert, the seasoned students knew that she would be another person from the drill master to whom we had grown accustomed during the preparation period.  As I look back, I realize that the time had come; we were prepared well; we were at the point that our best met the best that she could impart, and, “the show must go on”.

She was calm, quiet, and even reassuring to all of her students.  However, the one thing she ABSOLUTELY would not tolerate was the use of the word “nervous”.  Rather, she taught us to honor our feelings by describing verbally how we felt inside without giving it a label.  For the young children, she would help them to describe the feeling as little butterflies flying in their stomachs.

• Words matter.
• Some words are infectious and pejorative in nature in that they will tear at our self-confidence and destroy our abilities when under pressure like a contagion of “nervousness” in young children backstage before a performance.
• In this case, even if only one student was affected, it would destroy the result of the ensemble’s endeavor during the performance.  My teacher knew that she could not afford this.

I give you an opportunity to be mindful of your words, and how they affect you.  Here are some questions to ponder:

• What little phrases do you frequently say about yourself and others to whom you are in relationship?
• What words, symbols, or icons, adorn your body, clothing, and accessories?  How might you be affected by them?
• What are the words, phrases, and topics in your favorite reading material, radio and television shows, and songs?  How might the repetitive nature of them affect you and others in your sphere?
• What is your self-script when you are under pressure; have your back against a wall; are being challenged; or have to be in the spotlight?  Does the script work for, or against you?

Watch what you say….you may be listening!

© 2011 – 2012, Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig. All rights reserved.

Post by: Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig  (11 Posts)

Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig is an inspirational mentor and consultant focusing on Personal Breakthrough coaching. She offers a new paradigm for success and gives a biblical foundation to assist clients in going beyond what hindered them in the past.